hello!

Long time, no write!

Sorry about that. My computer broke and it!s been a pain in the rear to get it fixed. And typing a blog post on a tablet is a pain… and probably filled with typos.

Just a quick update:

My race Saturday? Didn’t happen…. had no one to take care of my kids. Very disappointed but I’m moving on.

I’m going to try for another race in October.

I’m working on trying to find time to run with my husband’s crazy work schedule….. it sucks.

I’m a big failure as far as weight loss, but I’m fixing that. … more on that later.

I lost 3lbs this week! There’s my motivation.

And that’s about all I’m willing to type on a tablet!

Food Wars!

I will totally admit that my “diet” has been crap for a while. Why? Because I gave in to my husband (and my kids) and when I went to the grocery store I bought junk.

I even bought “Choco-Tacos”. And I ate them… because they’re YUMMY!

But the past few weeks have been a struggle, because I’m trying to get away from the processed snacks and junk food in the house… but my husband complains EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT… “There’s nothing to eat!” “What do we have that’s sweet?” “I want .” And it drives me crazy! I feel like I’m not doing my job as a good wife — I feel like I’m starving him.

So I started with breakfasts… I’m trying to feed everyone a decent breakfast. My husband? Stops at McDonald’s every morning. So much so that he can order “The usual” and they get it. The girls and I eat cereal or eggs or greek yogurt and fruit. Or whole wheat waffles with Nutella. That’s their favorite.. and yes, I know Nutella isn’t healthy.

Lunches are still a struggle… sandwiches and hot dogs seem to win most of the time. But the girls do like fruit and cottage cheese so that helps me not feel so crappy about what I’m feeding them.

Dinner time is my biggest challenge right now. Partly because of my husband’s work schedule – he might get home at 4pm, he might get home at 9pm. My girls are read for dinner at 4, so that’s normally when I start cooking… we eat around 5 or so.

It’s a challenge because my husband would (just like my girls!) eat Chicken Nuggets (frozen) or frozen Lasagna or any other dinner that comes from a box or a can.

Me? I could eat chicken every night… there’s so many ways to cook it I don’t get bored. He’s bored with chicken though so I’m trying to throw in some other options… going meatless is NOT an option though.

It’s a gradual change, and I think I still have A LOT of room to change. But we have made progress. My girls are drinking water most of the time now. There’s no more gummy snacks, fruit roll ups or chips in the house. When they want a snack most of the time they ask for fruit. I’m working on getting them to eat more veggies but it’ll take time. And I guess if they eat them that means I have to eat them… :/

So tell me – what hints do you have for dealing with a picky eater (kids or husband)? What sites have good recipes?

Just some random stuff from my little brain…

I had originally planned on running a 5K in June, but graduation parties and birthday parties got in the way of the ones that I’d consider doing. :/

I just registered for a 5K in July. Someone posted the link on my FB page and asked me if I wanted to run. Sure! So now I’m registered for THIS RACE. And wondering what I was thinking? First off I like bigger races where I know for sure that I won’t stand out for being slow… this probably isn’t a big race.

Second of all – It’s in July! I hate running when it’s hot!

But it’ll be a good challenge for me… I’m looking forward to it. I feel like I have a goal now, and I can do this.

The scale isn’t really moving for me right now… mainly because I’m eating crap. (Choco-Tacos??) They’re not in the house anymore and I don’t think I’m going to buy any when I go to the store. It works better for me that way.

I think the eating might be related to my kids – they are driving me CRAZY! Leah is in that whiny stage and it’s beyond annoying. Even when nothing is wrong, she’s whining. So when I get stressed, I eat. But I’m working on that…

I think that’s enough randomness for the moment… I need to get motivated to do something useful today.

Last night

As soon as my husband called me last night and told me he was on his way home from work, I got dressed in my running clothes and was ready to go. It was a beautiful day, nice and cool and my kids were stressing me out so I needed a break.

He got home and headed straight to the stupid xbox… he didn’t understand why I was so upset or why I wanted to go run or why I even need a break – after all – you know he thinks I do NOTHING all day with taking care of the kids and the grandparents.

Anyway, I cried for a few minutes and then I just got pissed. I sent the girls inside to bug him and I left.

It was the best run I’ve had in a LONG time. I was able to breathe, and since I slowed my pace down some I was able to run longer before taking a walk break. Actually I was able to run about twice as long as I had been…. Then I walked for a shorter time and ran that distance again.

My over all pace though was about the same as it had been – I guess because I walked less?

So now I know. And I totally think that doing a 5K without ANY walk breaks is within my reach by July. Easily. As long as I get to run and don’t have to fight my husband too much about it.

Who cares if I’m slow? My big butt is still out there doing it and that’s all that matters.

Dear Rebecca: Read this often!

Remember how you felt today? Standing on the sidelines, knowing that you were perfectly capable of doing what everyone else was doing but too afraid to take a chance and do it? Knowing that you wimped out? Wishing that you were running or walking or doing anything but standing on the sidelines?

I want you to remember that feeling… the next time that you don’t feel like going to run. The next time that you want to eat junk instead of something good for you.

Remember that on this day you decided that no matter what you will cross that finish line next year. And several finish lines between now and then.

STOP FAILING. STOP wimping out. STOP being the lazy ass that everyone thinks you are.

The time is now, today. Not tomorrow… not next week, next month or next year – TODAY.

For all the people who tell you that you’ll never do it… this is your chance to prove them wrong.

Just remember the feeling today…. it wasn’t a good one. Imagine the feeling of crossing the finish line – even if you are last. Because even if you’re last – you still did better than everyone that didn’t try.

Flying Pig Weekend

This Sunday is the Flying Pig Marathon. Remember the one that I wanted to run? Yeah… I’m not doing it. I was supposed to be doing it with a friend… instead I’m going to cheer her on and meet her at the finish line.

I feel like a total failure.

So I registered for a race. Not the last one I posted about… I have something else going on that day and can’t do that race. But this one is in July so it’s time for me to get my butt in gear.

Starting today… I’m sitting here in my running clothes, waiting on my husband to get home from work so I can go run. Not walk – RUN. Not a leisurely stroll through the neighborhood…

I miss the feeling of pushing myself. I miss being proud of what I’ve accomplished.

And next year – I won’t be watching the Flying Pig. I will be running it.

I’m tired of being a failure, I’m tired of watching races and thinking “I’d like to run that some day….”

I missed my chance for the Pig this year… but I won’t let it happen again.

47 Days

In case you didn’t notice I updated my RACES page. Click on the link above and you can see how ambitious I am for the rest of this year.

The next one I want to do is June 2nd. That gives me 47 days to get my butt in gear so I can finish with a decent time. Totally doable. I think. I just want to finish it without having to walk… which is a stretch right now, but I still think I can do it.

So there it is… now I put it out there, I have to do all of them, right?

How much can one kid eat?

UGH! It’s been a very frustrating couple of days (weeks) with the girls. The whining, crying, fighting…. I’m over it!

One thing that is driving me nuts is that my 3 year old (almost 4 year old) wants to eat All. The. Time. I’m giving them good food (for the most part)… but it doesn’t seem to matter.

Breakfast is normally some yogurt and fruit, or a whole grain waffle and Nutella, or Sausage Biscuits or Oatmeal. And you can forget Cereal. And our Sunday morning tradition is Doughnuts.

Snacks are fruit, or celery or carrot and dip. Peanut butter and Graham crackers.

Lunches are your normal kid lunches – sandwiches, hot dogs, etc.

They eat what we eat for dinner, and they normally eat pretty well.

But C is CONSTANTLY telling me “I’m so hungry!” she asks for junk food, but doesn’t get it often. If I would let her she would eat all day.

And we end up with her screaming about how she’s starving and her tummy is empty. I try to tell her that she should only eat when her belly is empty and that she’s not hungry, she’s just bored, or that she just wants a treat right then… but it does no good.

What suggestions do you have? Do I just keep fighting with her or do I give in and give her a small snack every time she asks? Is grazing good or should I stick to our breakfast-snack-lunch-snack-dinner schedule?

Back to Basics

So I tried actual running again… and it sucked. I thought I was going to die after just a few minutes. Between being sick and schedule conflicts, not running for a few months have kicked my butt.

So here’s the new plan… I’m going to start Couch to 5k. I’m going to go out tomorrow and sort of test myself to see where I need to start, and if it’s in week 1 then that’s where I’ll start. If it’s week 4, then I’ll start there. I don’t care… I just want to be challenged.

I’m not going to do the Pig this year. :( That pretty much sucks monkey balls, but it’s just not going to happen for me.

So here’s what I’m thinking – there’s 3 races this fall that I really want to do… the Reggae Run, Run Like Hell and the Turkey Trot. I think they’re all pretty doable. The first one will be in October.

Next year? I will be standing on the starting line of the Pig. And I will post a time that I can be proud of.

So we’re going Back to Basics…. it’s all good.

For the last time –

I saw my reflection the other day and wondered who that fat chick was. Oops, I did it again! I lose weight, I gain weight, I lose more, I gain more.

I’m over it.

I’m not going on a diet. I’m not going to go crazy running or working out.

It’s just time to change. It started last time I went to the grocery store… the junk food is pretty much out of the house for good. I’m not even doing diet soda anymore…. I’m drinking Water Joe. That’s the first change I’ve made.

I’m back to “one choice at a time”. If I think about it too much I get overwhelmed. This shouldn’t be this difficult.

The grocery store is where the struggle takes place for me. Mmmm….. yummy junk food! But if it’s in the house, I will eat it. It kills me not to buy potato chips or Oreo’s. But I won’t. Lots of fruits for snacks, yogurt. I’m trying to find healthy alternatives for the greasy, yucky dinners everyone likes.

My husband is fighting me like crazy on this. He makes me feel guilty because he doesn’t have the snack food in the house that he wants. He tells me it’s MY problem that “if it’s in the house I’ll eat it” and that he shouldn’t be punished. I think that’s my biggest struggle. But he can buy it while he’s at work if he wants it. He doesn’t need to lay in bed and eat potato chips and cookies every night. It is my problem, but as my husband he should be supportive of me, not make it harder on me.

But the changes are happening, slowly but surely. I can do this, and I will. I don’t want my kids to grow up to be junk food fiends, and it’s obviously going to be up to me.

Food is the focus right now…. all the other stuff will come.